What You Need to Know About Elder Care
One of the serious Life Events that many either do not want to talk about and prepare for or are not emotionally ready to talk about or prepare for, is taking care of Elderly Parents.
Many of us have witnessed, either within our circle friends or within our own family, an elderly person needing the care of their family members.
Why can this not go smoother?
What To Consider When Planning for Elder Care
There are so many reasons to be considered when Adult Children or Adult Grandchildren have to step in and care for an elderly family member:
1. What is the Health status of the elderly parent?
2. Can the parent make logical and coherent responses and decisions?
3. What is the status of the relationship between the parents and the adult children
4. If there is more than one adult child what is the relationship among the siblings?
5. Who will be the primary caregiver?
6. Who will be the primary decision-maker or will it be collective venture?
7. What does the financial picture look like?
8. Who will either help with or completely handle the parent’s financial status?
9. Who will be given Power of Attorney?
10. Can the parent afford Professional Caregivers to help family members with their care?
11. What is the family history and do they get along?
12. Will the elderly parent stay in their home, have to move in with a family member or go to an extended care facility or nursing home?
As you can see, the list of “Need to Know” inquiries can be very long and every question brings forth more questions and numerous variables. However, two primary things can help immensely with the process: Communication and Preplanning. These two thing are of the utmost of importance when parents are entering their golden years.
Additional Resources for Navigating Elder Care
In addition to this list of questions that need to be addressed, please take a look at the links below and allow those in the field of elder care to help you become aware of some of the things to look for.
Caring for Your Parent: An Action Plan for Adult Children, from AgingCare.com
Stephanie Erickson, a clinical social worker in the field of geriatrics, writes:
“When we were young children, we looked to our parents to tell us right from wrong, to make decisions for us and to protect us. As we became young adults, our relationships with our parents changed. We still turned to them often, but more for guidance and support. Never did we imagine or expect that one day we would be caring for Mom and/or Dad. Now we are the ones in the “worry seat.”
Read the full article: https://alzlive.com/tips/caregiving/when-did-i-become-the-parent-and-what-should-i-do/
This excerpt comes from an article by Francine Russo, author of They?re Your Parents, Too! How Siblings Can Survive Their Parents? Aging Without Driving Each Other Crazy
“Providing care for your parents can be complicated. When your brothers and sisters are also involved, caregiving can become even more complex. While your siblings can be enormously helpful and your best support, they can also be a source of stress.
In this fact sheet, you will learn how to identify the family dynamics that can impact caregiving, ways your siblings can help, how to increase your chances of getting that help, and how to deal with emotions that arise.”
Read the full article: https://www.caregiver.org/caregiving-with-your-siblings
What to Do When Siblings Can’t Agree on a Parent’s Care Needs by Carol Bradley Bursack
“For some lucky families, having all adult siblings gather around and plan how to take care of Mom and Dad as their parents’ health begins to fail is a great comfort. For other families, things can take a disastrous turn when siblings who never got along as kids and have had little to do with each other as adults are thrown together to make caregiving decisions.”
Read the full article: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/sibling-disputes-about-elderly-parents-care-134376.htm
Hopefully, all these resources will help you open a conversation with your loved ones, whether you are the aging parent yourself or the adult child helping a parent navigate elder care.
Hugs,
Carolyn