by Carolyn | Ask Carolyn
Hi, my friends,
So, here we are coming upon Thanksgiving 2020…. I wish you all a Thankful and Grateful Thanksgiving.
The big question is:
What do we do when we cannot have our big family get-togethers for our traditional family holiday celebrations?
I get that many people don’t mind restricting holiday celebrations this year or any other time for that matter, as they don’t generally celebrate holidays with family and friends. Many do not like getting together with extended family because there always seems to be drama.
Drama or not, there are many of us who still want some kind of gathering and celebration to acknowledge the holidays, make our favorite foods and share in at least a couple traditional habits. Because this virus crisis of 2020 has pretty much canceled everything that calls for a gathering of those not quarantined together, we all must get more creative, like using technology to connect, such as Facetime, Zoom, and various other apps that allow for group conversations.
Traditions Gone Virtual
Below, I have found a couple of blogs on just how to do a virtual Thanksgiving in 2020. Keep in mind this will work for all gatherings you and your family will want to have while we are going through this crisis.
The best way to host a virtual Thanksgiving
I loved the suggestion to have a virtual potluck, and of course, as a game lover, the suggestions for games that can be played online together are just right.
It’s not Thanksgiving without great food. To make dinner extra fun for guests, invite them to prepare a special dish to show off on camera. If everyone is up for it, the host even can assign a different dish to everyone, so each person will have something unique to bring to the virtual table.
Planning a Zoom Thanksgiving? Here’s what you need to know
This is a very practical article, with advice on where to place the computer, for example.
What are you thinking? Put a laptop next to the turkey and move it around during the dinner? Place an iPhone near the cranberries? A webcam by the stuffing?
Esther Yoon, a marketing manager for Zoom, the most popular video meeting service, says consumers will no doubt mostly put their laptops on the table, because “so many homes have them,” but that there are better choices.
Making New Traditions
For some of us, our “Traditional” celebrations of Thanksgiving and Christmas has been changed forever, if we have lost a loved one, especially one who set most of the traditions of our holiday gatherings.
When my husband passed away, we tried to have everything as it had always been. However, it was not as it had always been and it caused us more sadness than we already felt over our loss. We needed to remember my husband, talk about him and even use some of his favorite recipes but we needed to change things up and make new traditions that fit our life without him. Another sad reality of losing a loved one but for all of us to continue to move forward it was a needed adjustment. This is never easy, in fact it is heartbreaking and it can feel awkward at first, however, we are not removing a loved one’s memory, we are adjusting to their physical absence.
If it is time to make different traditions for your holidays take a look at the suggestions below:
18 Thanksgiving Tradition Ideas for a Stress-Free, Gratitude-Packed Holiday
Two ideas from the 18 traditions of this article that I really liked are:
Remember Lost Loved Ones
On a day made for spending time with the people you care about most, set aside a little of it to think of loved one who have passed on. Get everyone to gather together and share a story or a special moment they remember; through those memories, you keep your loved ones alive in your hearts and can pass on important family legacies to the next generation.
Catch Up with Far-Off Family
The bigger your family gets, the harder it is to get everyone together for the holidays, and with the ongoing global pandemic, travel promises to be trickier than ever this year. But even if some of your nearest and dearest can’t make it to the celebration in person, there’s no reason not to see them on turkey day. Embrace the wonders of technology and set up a time to video chat with everyone you’re missing during the holiday—after all, there’s no reason your traditions can’t get a 21st century boost.
20 Unique Thanksgiving Traditions to Start With Your Family This Year
Two of my Favorites from this article are:
#3 Celebrate Everyone’s Birthdays
Families that only see each other once a year, this one’s for you. Emma Seymour of the Good Housekeeping textiles lab says her family sings Happy Birthday when they gather for Thanksgiving — cake with candles included! That way, everyone gets to celebrate their birthday with those they love, even if they can’t travel to be together on the actual da
#17 Take a Walk After Eating
Get your blood moving after you eat for a new tradition that’s good for you. Bundle up if you live in a cold climate and bring some flashlights if it’s after dusk and take a lap around the block. Going for a stroll gives the crew more time to chat than turning on the tube, too.
Whatever you decide to do for these upcoming holidays make sure you stay safe, stay in a heartfelt state of gratitude for what you do have and who you have around you. If you do decide to have a virtual Thanksgiving, remember you can invite family and friends who normally cannot travel to your celebratory gatherings.
Much love and big hugs to all,
Carolyn
by Carolyn | Magic
Greetings, my Good Friends….. Hope this finds you all well and safe.
Have you seen my latest WHY NOT??? post on my Facebook Author page? If you have, then you know I have dyed my hair a very vivid purple at the request of my teenage grand-girls. Yes, I have jumped “head first”, no pun intended, into the world I have waited a long time to enter…. I have earned the right to be as eccentric as I want to be, purple hair and all. LOL
Well , now, take it easy on me. Don’t judge me. Instead, come along with me and enter the magic portal of fun I am bringing to my life, where it is okay to play, to have music on all the time, and be absolutely crazy about life. At my stage of life, I can definitely tell you that life is very, very short and somewhere along the way, many of us have forgotten how to bring out the fun side of ourselves and just play.
I started asking “Why Not” when I was asked to do something fun I had not done before, something out of the framework of being at my stage of life. I have heard others say as we get older that we should “act our age,” especially when we wear something designed for a younger crowd, or when we do something they can’t imagine themselves doing! Seriously, ”act our age” is totally disrespectful. Nobody knows what that means!!!! So, to everyone who says it, STOP SAYING IT.
Come along with me, relax, breathe and smile…..Let’s take a journey down the path of eccentricism and for a while, act the age we feel, not what some calendar or society, whoever the hell “society” is, tells us we are.
I have to say that no matter what age we are, I think that if our minds are still working well, and we have not lost our imagination and playfulness, that we should do as many fun things as we can on a daily basis. I mean, after all, laughter makes a person even look younger, so laugh it up. And it costs nothing to dance, sing, play, and share laughter.
And with that as a start, I have a fun new subject for this blog; another “Why Not” way of thinking.
One thing I have done to keep my mental health in check and bring more fun into my life is to play a few different Role Playing Games (RPG) or tabletop games. I play some fun characters in some fun groups. I have played mind-bending games like D&D, (it is NOT the bad game we all heard it was), Space Adventures, Super Natural, Super Heroes, and open to playing a few more as time goes on.
And before anyone starts being shocked, let me ask how many of you watch Game of Thrones, The Hobbit, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Lord of the Rings, and for downright magic, how about Harry Potter?
Why I Love Role-Playing Games (RPG)
- I can be a Young Sexy Character
- It gives me the opportunity to be creative in my thinking.
- I have to think on the spot. Invent as I go according to the Game Masters story.
- I belong to a group and a very fun inspiring group.
- I, my Character, is important to the game.
- I learn about different Characters, Scenarios, Logistics, not to mention working as a Team.
- I can also play a grumbling grouchy Character and No one is going to ask me if I need a laxative. LOL
- I can go from a child-like Character to an Ogre to a Sorceress to an Angelic Elf to a Ranger to a Super Hero to an owner of a Magic Shop and on and on.
- I get to spend creative quality time with other players, friends, and family.
- Playing in a group of RPG players brings a great amount of laughter which we all need.
Older people are often ignored and forced to live in loneliness for lack of family, friends, and the gift of being part of a group. Worse yet, older people allow this to happen. If I had my way, every senior center would offer RPG activities and we would stop being the age others think we are. In addition to combating loneliness, RPG activities keep our minds sharp. Mental acuity can wane as we age, and our brains need to be simulated!
Some Links to Explore
10 Celebrities You Didn’t Realize Were Huge D&D Nerds. I mean, come on…. If Judi Dench plays D & D “Why Not” me, right?
Exploring New Hobbies in Retirement: Board Games and Tabletop RPGS
This Ain’t Your Grandma’s D&D! A very funny video of some older folks learning to play D&D.
So, my friends, live life to its fullest, play a little or a lot, laugh every day about something or several times a day is even better, listen to music while you are taking in life, dance and sing whether you are nimble or can carry a tune and above all make note of all you are grateful for every day.
“Game On”…..…” Why Not?”
Hugs
Carolyn
by Carolyn | Magic
Greetings my friends, I hope this finds you all well, safe and happy. This blog is on a couple different genres than I normally write about and I hope you enjoy them and find them as intriguing as I do.
I more than understand that many, who will see this blog do not believe in Numerology, Angel Card Readings, Mediums and the World of Magic, whatever that world is that one deems as Magic. Therefore, please just pass this blog by and any future blogs about the World of Numbers, Magic and Angels. I will have more about these magical forms of communications on my new Facebook page, website and as I write my new book. I respectfully thank you so much for reading my book reviews, life coaching tips and research posts and hope you stay with me for that content.
Numerology and Astrology
A couple years ago, while researching astrology, numerology kept coming up. Acknowledging the fact that I am addicted to knowing the “What’s up” scenario of many subjects, I set out on the journey of researching numerology. I found that many who practice numerology also pay attention to the alignments of our planetary system, along with one’s date of birth and, how the planets were aligned at the time they were born, just as experienced and trained astrologists have done for centuries.
I know there are those who are not only skeptical but a bit frightened about the use of numerology, astrology and using one’s astrological birth sign as a tool for understanding who they are. I get it and understand it. For a long time, I was a bit leery as well. However, for years the thought of having my numbers calculated kept coming to me and encouraging me to just give it a try.
Through conversations with several colleagues, I found that numerology was a tool many have used with their clients, especially when we spoke about the use of, and teaching of, vision boards for creative and visual goal setting. Through my research, I met a Quantum Numerologist. After a couple years of listening to her podcasts and interacting with her through Zoom conferences, I gave in and had my Numbers and “Divine Purpose Blueprint” calculated for me. If you have ever read your horoscope then you have shown some interest in using these tools for predicting your daily or yearly Life Path.
Through this Divine Purpose Blueprint, I learned that my Life Path number is 7.
“Exploring the mysteries of life gives the 7 path its purpose. These are very inquisitive people with an insatiable need to delve into any topic in search of answers and truths.”
I certainly cannot argue with this description of Life Path 7. This is a solid truth for me I am and will always be a forever student of the Who, What, Why, How, and Where, of living life, as anyone who reads this blog knows!
Keep in mind that Astrology and Numerology are based on two different strategies.
Astrology is studying the movement of planets and their influence on our lives and is related to Astronomy. Numerology is the study of numbers and their influence on one’s life path.
When my husband and I had a husband and wife radio show, one of my segments on the show was to read horoscopes. This became one of the most popular segments of our morning show. A very large number of people are intrigued about the magic of thinking they may know what might come in their future or be warned to pay more attention to their surroundings, thoughts and attitudes. I read the Western Horoscopes and the Chinese Horoscopes, both very popular and if we, for some reason, like a commercial overload, skipped the horoscope segment we received a mass of calls, the phone rang off the hook ( I know I am dating myself as most will not have a clue what it means for a phone to “ring off the hook” LOL…..) until we read the horoscopes. This, of course, was one of my favorite segments to do on our show.
More about Numerology:
How Numerology Works from HowStuffWorks.com
Numerology 101: How to Figure Out Your Life Number from CBS19News.com
Folklore, Mythology and Angels
I love research and I must say it has led me to some very interesting journeys. I will start on one subject and end up going into a whole different direction from where I started, because of connecting stories to the one I am researching. I have been brought out of my “self – help” world and introduced to the magic worlds of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and superheroes by my kids and grands. My youth was sprinkled with tales of Fairies, Tinkerbell, the Tooth Fairy, Elves, Mermaids, Mermen, Pixies, and Gnomes to name a few. As a child in Missouri, when the fireflies (or lightenin’ bugs as we called them) came out at night, we were told they were fairies lighting our way through the dark.
Then one day I was doing research on Ireland and an article came up about Ireland’s folklore, and yes, off I went into the world of myths and legends.
My first intrigue about Ireland and its stories of fairies was when I saw a movie in 1959 at the age of 12, called Darby O’Gill and the Little People. I loved the leprechauns; however, one scene scared me to no end. A banshee flew across the skies in a horse-drawn carriage letting out a horrible shrieking sound and that’s when I found out it was called a banshee and was considered the Fairy of Death…. Say Whatttt!!!… Oh Yes, not all Fairies are Tinkerbells and even Tinkerbell is known to be mischievous. Check out 10 Most Famous Myths and Legends from Irish Folklore.
“Mythology and Ireland go hand in hand. Irish storytelling has been a staple of our culture since the dawn of time, with songs, tales, and limericks spreading the world as the Irish emigrated.”
Stay safe, be happy and look for the magic in your life .
Hugs,
Carolyn
by Carolyn | Book Reviews
For One More Day
by Mitch Albom, author of Tuesdays with Morrie and Five People You Meet in Heaven
For One More Day has inspired various good and bad reviews. In my opinion, I think this book is for everyone to read as a lesson in how we view our parents and our lives. I also think that depending on where one is in life, and the relationship one has with their parents, will not only make a difference in what one gets from the story but will influence what kind of review they give. I hope you will read it and see what life journey it may take you on.
Sometimes, just sometimes, a story will make one think about their own life, family and may often help us make right a few things we have gotten all wrong or misunderstood about someone we love.
For One More Day is a story about a man whose life had gone all wrong. His father left when he was young and he and his sister were raised by their mother. He was angry about not seeing his father and assumed it was his mother’s fault his father left. Because of his assumptions, he showed no appreciation for all of the sacrifices his mother had unselfishly made for him. After his baseball career ended and his mother passed away, his life spiraled out of control causing him to lose his own wife and a relationship with his daughter. When he had a serious accident, he was caught somewhere between this life and death and received a visit from his deceased mother. He was given “one more day” with her and learned the real truth of why his father left and the true sacrifices his mother had made.
This book can make one think quite differently about how to answer the question, “What if you could have one more day with a deceased loved one, who would it be?”
I read this book when it was first published in September of 2006. My dad had passed away that May and as I read this book, thoughts of my dad kept bringing me into the realization of how little I actually knew about my father. Well, of course, I thought I knew my father very well. After all, I had lived in the same household with him for 18 years of my life and once I moved out on my own, I still saw him every week, then I married and moved away and talked to him a couple times a month. He was my dad, but it kept nagging at me, just how well did I know my dad? My dad’s parents and siblings had passed away before he did. I realized I had no one to ask about my dad’s life before he married my stepmother and after they married, my connection with him was distant and strained. The sad part is that I now know I only knew my dad as I wanted my dad to be, not as he was. Any of this sound familiar?
My answer to, “What if you could have one more day with a deceased loved one, who would it be?” was my dad. However, this is not as simple as wanting to know who my dad was, who did he want to become, did he have any dreams and did he live the life he loved and wanted. You see, I was raised by my grandmother while my dad was in the military serving time overseas, then when he returned, he married and brought home my stepmother. Where was my birth mother, one might ask? I was with my father and birth mother until the age of 3, and when they divorced, my father somehow got custody of me, unheard of in those times, and I only saw my birth mother two more times, the last being downtown while shopping for new shoes to meet my “new” mother at the age of six. So as one could guess, one of the critical questions I would ask my dad for that “one more day” conversation, is to tell me the true story of what happened between he and my mother, and why was I not allowed to see or hear from my mother after the divorce, or for that matter , ever again? My dad would never allow me to ask that question and out of respect for my stepmother, I chose not to pursue or attempt to find my birth mother after his passing.
What changed after reading this book for the second time? As the story unfolded, my thoughts changed from my dad, keeping in mind I still wanted that conversation if it were ever possible. However, since that first reading of One More Day, my husband passed away, after 46 years of marriage. One would think one would know everything about someone they lived with for 46 years. I am here to inform all who think this, that even with in-depth conversations with a loved one we just are not going to know them as well as we think we do, nor will they know us, ever!
Now you may think that I changed my direction and have chosen my husband to have that “one more day” with, right? Make no mistake, I would like “one more day” with my husband and I would have the conversations we should have had with each other in our time together, the deeper in-depth ones we always knew we were avoiding. However, I now would choose my birth mother. Why now? To know, before I leave this earthly existence, why we were never allowed to see and know each other. Who was she and who did she become. Did she ever think of me, did she ever want to see me, talk to me, know how my life had unfolded, and before she passed away, was I even a whisper of a thought to her?
I would highly recommend this thought-provoking book to everyone. It would also be an excellent read for all book clubs.
by Carolyn | Ask Carolyn
Emergency Preparedness Tips From Someone Who Has Been There!
Greetings, my Friends….
Well, we have had more fires than is believable, with a few earthquakes thrown in, where I now live.
I just read and shared a post on FB about a well-known chef whose home burned down from a chimney fire. They lost everything. Absolutely everything. Even though they were home at the time, they had no time to get upstairs to their offices to save anything — computers, iPads, journals, notepads, records of any kind, or any other keepsakes or artwork that was part of their world.
With all of these disasters, by either Mother Nature, arson or malfunctioning fireplaces, stoves, furnaces and so on, I am once again on the “Be Prepared as Best as You Can” Train.
Tips For Emergency Preparedness
- Have a “To Go Bag” ready. It is recommended to have a kit in your home, your car and your office.
- Get your paperwork protected. Keep an extra copy of your paperwork in a separate location, with your lawyer or a trusted family member.
- Back up your life with thumbdrives with digital photos and other important documents. If you have precious family letters, consider having them digitized.
- Get a safety deposit box, a fireproof safe or both to store your wills, important paperwork to re-start your life if need be, photos and jewelry in the safe or box.
- At night, put your computer, iPad, extra power cords and chargers into a good computer bag with a strap, that is easy to grab. Set it by your bedroom door, in case you have to run.
- Create an inventory of your belongings, especially valuables. Take a photo from every angle of every room, of jewelry, artwork, musical instruments, guns, any and all hunting fishing equipment, scan scrap books and photos, furs and expensive clothing, all vehicles including boats and toys. These will be very useful in filing your insurance claim.
There are guidelines and all kinds of information on being prepared. Research them and choose what will work for you and your family.
BUT, keep in mind…..Crap happens!!! Your plan needs a back-up plan.
What Will You Do in These Scenarios?
1. You can have all of the “To Go Bags” for every member of your family including pets, ready to grab and go, but if you are not home when disaster strikes, what then? (Sadly, we are often told not to leave anything in our cars, especially at beaches, recreation sites, etc)
2. You can put together all of the survival supplies on any one of these lists, and in the beginning, you may very well be disciplined to check it over every 3 months for any foods, liquids, batteries and so on that may have expired, but are you disciplined to continue to check your survival kits every 3 months?
3. Will you be disciplined to change out clothing as the seasons or sizes change?
4. Will you be able to keep keys, combinations, and passwords handy at all times? (it is nice to have a safety deposit box but if you cannot find the key…. What then?)
5. Where will you store your inventory, and how will you keep them updated, if you sell or change out anything in your inventory?
It’s not my intent to throw a wet towel on being prepared, but I want you to really think through being prepared and not think it is a simple, quick fix like purchasing a Go bag off the internet.
Resources for Preparedness
Below is just a small list of websites to help you get started and make some extremely important preparations for surviving any kind of disaster that may come.
1.My Life in a Box, created by Laurie Ecklund Long
I am a Certified Trainer for “My Life in a Box.” Contact me today to learn how to use “My Life in a Box. ”
https://mylifeinabox.com
2. READY, from Homeland Security
https://www.ready.gov/kit
3. SKILLED SURVIVAL
https://www.skilledsurvival.com/go-bag-list/
4. RED CROSS
https://www.redcross.org/get-help/how-to-prepare-for-emergencies/survival-kit-supplies.html
5. INC.
Disaster Prep: The 10 Things You Should Absolutely Have In A Go Bag, by Melanie Curtin
You can put these items together for under $100. They could save your life.
What do you have to lose by not being prepared ….. Possibly Everything!!!
Stay Safe.
Hugs,
Carolyn
