Greetings, my Dear Friends,
Lately, I have been having a fascinating discussion about what different words mean to each of us, especially when it comes to gift giving. It is all about intention– both in what you say and the gift you give.
Very common words have very different meanings to each of us. It is important to clarify the meaning of specific words we use in sharing our thoughts or having a general or business discussion. Knowing you are on the same page in a discussion of any kind can make a distinct difference in the outcome of all conversations, acts of love, thoughtfulness, debates and kindness. I am finding that it is very important to ask someone you are talking to, and sharing ideas with, exactly what particular words used mean to them, and that we also share what those words mean to us.
For instance, if I say to someone, “I really want us to do something together,” It isn’t always clear what the word “together” means. Does it mean doing something where we are physically together, side by side, like dancing, hiking, watching a movie or “together- separately” where we are enjoying a hobby such as painting, reading, virtual book club, virtual run? We are doing the same thing but instead of doing it together, we are doing it together-separately and sharing our outcomes.
What does this mean, when it comes to gift giving?
Because it is Christmas time, two words that came to me in the wee hours of the morning were:
- Assumption
- Presumption
Do we know what those words really mean? Are we aware that we operate within their meanings much more than we want or should?
I had to evaluate how many times I have just assumed or presumed I knew what someone else wanted done for them, or I purchased a specific gift I thought was right for them, or wanted to give a big surprise I thought would be the end-all gift, never taking in mind if what I wanted to do or did was truly right for that person. Just because I loved it, doesn’t mean it was right for them!
When I was working, I would ask my co-workers to fill out a “Things I Like” questionnaire, so that come birthdays or Christmas, I would get them something they really either wanted or would fit into their style.
I never thought of doing this for my family or long-time friends because I just thought I knew them so well…..NOT!
Gift Giving with Intention
I will start doing this, and if you want to do the same, here are some questions to include (or download my free PDF below to have your family and friends fill out for you!):
1. What is your favorite gift card to receive?
2. What are your top 3 favorite colors?
3. What is your favorite scent ( candles, perfume, lotion, aftershave/cologne etc.)?
4. What are your favorite hobbies or past time ( This does not include sex
)?
)?5. What is your favorite candy and candy bar?
6. What is your favorite coffee, tea, beverage?
7. If you imbibe…What is your favorite wine or drink of choice?
8. What is your favorite cookie and fruit?
9. What are your favorite flowers?
10. What is your favorite restaurant?
And yes, we do need to ask our partners these questions from time to time because believe it or not… their tastes do change. In fact, I know some couples that maintain gift lists for each other so that there’s never any question.
In the spirit of “getting rid of the clutter of stuff and things” that are overwhelming our lives, it behooves us to give or do for others that which truly fits them, their lifestyle and will not become another “What the hell do I do with this? “ kind of gift.
To be safe, do not assume (remember…. Assume can make an Ass out of U and Me) and don’t presume you know what a person likes, wants or what their words mean unless you have asked!
Have a Blessed day …. Be clear when in conversation and remember that some of the best gifts are Love, Music, Laughter and Your Time.
Hugs,
Carolyn